Friday, May 14, 2010

It's No Secret ...

I'd like to believe I'm a pretty open book - I mean, don't get me wrong, I have areas that are private - but for the most part, I'm pretty open.

As far as things go, I call them as I see them - I sometimes, more often than not, don't have a filter.  Sometimes, I just - sort of blurt.  When it comes to my child, and what I want - or think is best for her, it's not a secret.  There is no question, what I think is best for her, what I want her to do, or what I think of parenting techniques - that either I use, or others around me use.  I'm a wealth of opinion, and generally, it's a very educated opinion.  When you become a mother, your brain automatically changes.  You no longer think of the best thing for you - first, you become second - or lower - on your list of life importances - you think of what's best for your child, your charge.   Well, in my opinion, that's what you do.

Far be it for me, a parent for a mere three years and 27 days, to give parenting advice to any of those parents who have been "doing it" longer, for more children, or "better" than I.  

The reason for this - almost rant infused - blog, is because I got a phone call today.  From my child's daycare teacher.  Now, keep in mind - she is MY child, and has been ever since she resided in my belly, for 2 weeks too long.

Let me digress a moment, a little background for you.
Emily has been attending this daycare for nearly two years now.  She spent the better part of her first 2 years here in my office with me (so recommend this if you have the option) where I spent my time working, and working with her.  Teaching her words, to walk, to talk, etc.  I didn't miss a single "first" ... and that was exciting to me.  This daycare has been wonderful.  Beyond wonderful, for the both of us.  It is 3 minutes up the road from my office - a small, in home, center - that focuses on the kids.   THAT is important to me.   That was one of the selling points, actually - even bigger than the distance from my desk to her front door - was that they do everything they can - to make sure the kids are learning, playing, having fun, developing, are happy, healthy and safe.

She is very bright, quick witted, intelligent, polite (most of the time), sociable, friendly - a very happy, healthy, well rounded toddler.  She knows her ABC's, she can count to 20, put her shoes on, take them off, she's been potty trained since barely 18 months - she helps with laundry, dishes, taking care of the dogs and cat, and a lot more - all around - she's a very smart girl.  (not to brag).  At 3, barely 3 at that, I wasn't thinking of enrolling her in pre-school this coming fall.  I don't think she needs it, I think she's better off waiting another year - do I think she will benefit from pre-school - yes, when the time is right.  Do I think that time is now?  or this coming fall? No, I really don't.  Mike and I have discussed it, and we were in agreement - it would hinder her development, to take her out of where she is - even part of a few days a week - to learn things she already knows.   Or re-learn them as the case may be.

There is a 'pre-school' run out of one of the local high schools here.  It isn't on my list of "possibilities" for Emily to attend, because for one - I don't like the director.  I don't care for their "teaching" methods, if you even want to call them that - personally, I wouldn't, but I was being polite.

I've told Emi's current daycare provider this, in no uncertain terms - many times.  It remains no secret that I do not care for that "school" and wouldn't be sending Emily, nor would I be sending any future children I may have (don't read into that, it was a moment of pure anger) to that place.  I am not interested, Thank You Very Much.

APPARENTLY - I wasn't clear, or the daycare teacher thinks I wasn't clear.

I received a phone call today, that really floored me.

This past September (both before and after these discussions about this place) the director of Emily's daycare put MY CHILD on the list of interested students for a place in the classroom at this 'pre-school' (run by high school students I don't know and a Director I don't care for) - and wanted to let me know she'd done so.   --- Pause --- you did WHAT NOW?

She wanted to be sure she'd told me, and that it was a really hard place to get into, so she wanted to be pro-active that Emily was going to be able to attend "class" there, especially with one of the other little girls that goes to her current daycare.

I swear to you, my dear faithful readers, my vision went red.  Now, it's not appropriate to go off on this woman, as she still currently cares for my child's well being while I'm at work - so I took a deep breath, let her tell me how wonderful this "school" is and how great it'd be for Emi and her friend to go together, and how after a mere 6 months - they've already been bumped from 13th & 14th on the list to 1st & 2nd.  They haven't "gotten in yet" (as if it really is some posh, top of the line, over the moon expensive - private - hard to get into places and not a glorified daycare center, in a high school, run by a hack director and students who would really rather be anywhere else other than teaching my kid - again, this is strictly my opinion of the place, and I apologize if anyone else has other opinions of it.  I've done my research where MY child is concerned - it may be a place for someone else's but, not mine.) but the list moving as fast as it has, ensures a spot for Emily.

Then, when she was finished, I said "I'll speak to Mike this weekend, and get back to you Monday."  In reality, I've already spoken to her about this - many times.  So this afternoon, in about an hour or so, I'll be speaking to her again, and I'll be removing her name from the list.  I'm not interested in a place, means, no thanks - put another kids name on the list.

I know she thinks she's helping me - but really, she's just broken a small piece of trust away from me.  If she's signing Emily up for this behind my back - and supposedly waiting 6 months (and many conversations) to tell me, what else is she up to?  In 2 years, if I haven't made myself clear - I don't think I ever will.

I mean, really, my interest is what's best for Emily.   Look at her:

Shouldn't it be?   Shouldn't I be able to tell an adult in her life something, and have it be respected - and honored?  Not just because I'm her mom - but seriously, because I'm her mom!   AND I pay your paycheck every week.  

Am I wrong here?


Jessi said...

I can't believe the school would even place a child's name on a list without the parents requesting it!!! THAT gives me the creeps!

Amy said...

I KNOW! What school do you know of wouldn't check with the PARENT!? Just one of the many things I have against that "preschool".

I spoke to her daycare teacher, and had her removed from the list - I also told her I wasn't happy that she went ahead and did it.
Of course, she said "Oh, I thought you wanted me to - I thought you told me it was okay, and that you'd just take her off if you decided not to go there"

I told her - again - why I didn't like that "school" and why I'd rather Emily not attend. she understood, was super apologetic, and assured me she's never added her list to anything she hadn't spoken with me about. (Again, she thought I told her to add her name)

Grrr. Well, at least she's off, and I'm talking to other daycares/preschools, so that either THIS fall, or next (probably next, because of when she'd be eligible for Kindergarten) she'll be in preschool - somewhere <3

J. Burke said...

No you are NOT wrong! And it tends to make people wonder what else they may not know about what's going on with their child. I'd seriously put this woman in her place. And keep her there.