Sunday, October 16, 2016

One Book; One Promise; One Review

I'm the worst.

100% without a doubt, the absolute worst person ever.

I promised a friend a book review.  You all know me by now, all 11 of you.  You know I love to read, but I suck at writing.  I'm the worst.

Why I would promise to write a review is beyond me. But I did, and I need to do it.  Because I promised.  And he deserves it, he is an amazing writer and his books (yes, books) are fucking phenomenal.

I read "Romantic as Hell" in 3 days - between work, school and Emily's extracurricular activities I couldn't sit and read as often as I wanted; I've also been incredibly lazy with my writing - but had hoped this book would give me the nudge I needed to start again.  Instead, it just made me feel even more inadequate because Rodney is such a fucking artist.  Trust.  Fucking.Artist.

Don't believe me?  Here's a snippet of what you're missing:

I. Well, That Was Embarrassing 
     The stage set changes to the bedroom of a teenage boy.
    The wallpaper has a metallic sheen to it, reflecting dark green carpeting. A large waterbed sits against a wall, and tacked to the wall above the bed are two posters: The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and Christie Brinkley. Both posters look worn and crinkly. We will not stop to consider why right now because the answer is probably disturbing. A dresser with a large mirror sits against the opposite wall, adorned with a blue Tiffany lamp.
     This looks to be one of the worst-designed rooms of all time and should be on a television-design show that has the words "Disasters" or "Rescue" in the title.

I've followed Rodney and his writing for a while, so I was prepared for his sophomoric "potty" humor.  I'm also married to a man, and mother to a 9 year old daughter (don't let her gender fool you, she likes fart jokes as much as any boy.)

An incredibly hilarious guide of what to do and not to do - this one doesn't fall short, and judging by Rodney's own admission you need to read this book. As a matter of fact, he says you need to go out and get this book because:
"Worst Case: You laugh.
Better Case: You laugh AND get some tips that strengthen your position
in the dating community or in your own relationship.
Best Possible Case Ever: You laugh AND get some good tips AND
make your significant other's friends think you're amazing, thus
increasing the odds of a threesome."

In addition to this masterpiece, because I'm an asshole and felt incredibly terrible for NOT following through with my promise - I bought his previous two books Perhaps I've Said Too Much (a Great Big Book of Messing with People) and Things Go Wrong For Me (when life hands you lemons, add vodka)... I was not disappointed; and if you check any of them out - you won't be either.

Sorry it took me so long, Rodney.  Forgive me.  I'm an asshole.

Rodney graciously sent me an e-copy of Romantic as Hell in exchange for this review.

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored post.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via a cash payment, gift, or something else of value to write it. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. Also, Edwin the bunny got to Pablo Escobar again today, so he is slowly deflating again. I know, it’s tragic. If you are actually reading this, I am largely impressed.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”