Monday, June 20, 2011

A note on reading ...

I've recently updated my book list on the side (there ------> ) of my blog - that shows the 52 books in 2011 ... now, to be fair, I have read each book this year that doesn't say "currently reading" ... it may have been one or two books in a week, or the like ... and I generally read in the evening, or on the boat .. it's my "down time".

If it says "Currently Reading" .. rest assured, I'm not reading 4 or 6 books at once, I limit myself to 2 (as I'm getting older I can't seem to focus, absorb, or enjoy - more than that) ... it merely means that it's next in the queue.

I'm a little behind, but I have confidence that I Can AND WILL reach my goal.

I hope I've inspired some of you to pick up a book or more, when ever you can - I know life is hectic for me, I can only imagine how it is for some of you.  Reading is (like I said) my down time, my escape.  There are a few things in life that I hold dear, and wish to pass on to my daughter.  Two of those are reading and photography.  here's why.

Reading -- (we're currently reading: Junie B - First Grader:  Dumb Bunny at bed time each night, her very first chapter book) ... is something I think I can share.  She already shows a passion for books, and begs for books as her "prizes" for completing her behavior sticker chart.  I'd rather have her beg for books, as opposed to toys.  I never go anywhere without a book, or my Kindle, and she is equally as obsessed.  She was given a "V-Tech V-Reader" for Christmas, it's with her, where ever she goes.

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(even if it means reading a diabetes awareness magazine)

Photography -- She loves to pose for pictures, and "help" take pictures when she sees something that strikes her fancy.  I love that she can and will, reach for a camera with such ease - already.  She has 6 or 7 fake cameras, and when she's old enough, I cannot wait to give her her first camera.  I've already gotten her interested in using mine, I can't wait to see what she does with her own.  Just as with me and my camera, she has a fake camera with her, every day.

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not bad for a four year old huh??

Little Wonders .....

Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels


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Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

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Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end


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Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain


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All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But i can not forget
The way i feel right now


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In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain
(Rob Thomas)
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Thursday, June 16, 2011

7 minutes of sleep?? Awesome.

This is a true story .. and I know I am going to be sorry I didn't go home and sleep, but -- here it is.

Yesterday was Emily's big dress rehearsal for her first ever Dance Recital.


The mother of a little girl I bring to dance class every week and I had pre-arranged that this time, since it was earlier, farther away and she didn't work Wednesday, that she would pick up the girls at daycare, and drive them to McD's to get a snack or something equally unhealthy, and meet me at the school where the rehearsal, and subsequent recital, was taking place.



I get out of work a touch early, so I can go to the dance studio where one of the women that work there told me last week, I could still purchase tickets for THIS Saturdays show.  Get there, wait 10-15 minutes, watching the clock and growing frustrated and irritated by the minute - no one shows up.  Call the studio number and am greeted with the following message:



"Thank you for calling Studio 109, Dance, Voice & Drama - today is Wednesday June 15th, and we are closed for the day.  Our big dress rehearsal will be at 430pm SHARP at Noble HS located in North Berwick Maine.  We can't wait to see you all there, if you have a message please, leave it after the beep" ................................. NOT what I Had been Told a Week Earlier.



I call Angela (the other mom) and we begin planning where on our route we're going to meet up so I can follow her in, since I was unsure of where I was going, and she had been there before.   Discovering I in fact knew an easier route, I was directing her turn by turn, until she knew where she was.  At one point, as I was hanging up, I was stopped at a stop sign after she had just turned - as I put the phone down I am hit from behind ... Awesome.



Get out of the car, get the kids name, phone number and plate number (he said he didn't have an insurance card) and he says:

"OMG I am so sorry, I wasn't even paying attention, I was reading a text" ........ Wait, What!?



I turned, looked at him and said "Guess it's a good thing my Uncle's a cop then huh?  I need your information, this is a company car, and I'll have to report it to our insurance company."   to which he stammered there was no real damage, just his license plate was bent in - blah blah yadda yadda.   Don't care.  Got the information  ---  in the process, Lost Angela.  Awesome.



Finally get her back on the phone, and find she took a wrong turn, but got off the phone to quickly with me to turn her around before she's gone too far.  Finally get her back, turn her around and redirect her to where I am waiting.



We end up One Hour Late.  (we called the Director and let her know ahead of time.)   Emily and Grace missed their number.  Get them changed out of their, now useless, costumes.  And Wait.  Awesome.



Since they are in the Finale as well, they have to stay.  Get in touch with hubby, tell him what's going on - and he shows up to see that everything is okay, and I break down bawling my eyes out when I see him (outside away from all the kids - particularly mine) ... explain everything that happened, and get inside to see the rest of the rehearsal.  Which runs until 730.  We're still a half hour from home - and the game starts at 8.  Awesome.



Get home, have Em take a shower, (she'd already eaten dinner - twice) get her in her jammies and wait for hubby to get home.  (he stopped to get himself something to eat) ... he gets home, they sit together for a bit, then it's off to bed (super late, on a school night) and I run my self a bubble bath and pour a glass of wine ... except the bubbles don't form, the water is cold, and all I had in the house was 1/2  a glass of white wine ..... Awesome.



Get out of the tub, tuck myself in, turn on the game - Bruins win - 4-0 - FUCKING Awesome.  
Canucks Fans riot, and act like immature assholes ... Awesome.



Read for a while once the game is over, cannot fall asleep.   1am .. 2am .. 3am .. Kittens decide it's playtime and I'm the playground .. 4am hear car doors opening and shutting, get up to investigate .. nothing there .. 415am - Em talks in her sleep - loudly - about missing her rehearsal, it's all my fault, and I'm not in her heart anymore.  Awesome.



Finally at 6:08am, I drift asleep ... the alarm goes off at 6:15am.  I'm up for the day ... Awesome.

It is indeed, Happening.

Bonne Jessi trentième anniversaire!!
Feliz Jessi trigésimo cumpleaños!!
Среќен Роденден триесеттиот Jessi!!
Feliz Jessi trixésimo aniversario!!
Честит рожден ден тридесетия Jessi!!
Happy dertigste verjaardag Jessi!!
Χρόνια Τριακοστή Jessi Πολλά!!
Jessi Pen-blwydd Hapus degfed ar hugain!!!!
Glücklich dreißigsten Geburtstag Jessi!!



Breithlá shona Jessi Trıochadu!!!!
Jessi Buon trentesimo compleanno!!

I *could* go on .. but you get the gist ... 


Happy Thirtieth Birthday Jessi!!!!!!!   it is indeed happening, and you're going to love it!!

Love You!!!
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Still my Favorite Picture of you <3


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

School Days, School Days ....


As a parent, you enjoy certain things.  Their first smile, laugh, word, step .. etc.

As a parent, you worry about certain things.  Whether they're eating enough, eating right, walking right, talking right, hitting each milestone right.

My dearest little mouth  child, is now four years old - not yet old enough for kindergarten, and too smart for her current 'school' day care setting.  I have been researching, reading, calling, checking, asking .. etc .. around for information on local preschools.  I live in a town, work in another, and current Em goes to school/daycare in yet another - so location doesn't really concern me, as any of these 3 towns would work fine for our current schedule.

I have looked into private, public, in home, in center, new, old, established, changed, new curriculum, no curriculum, learn through play, going green - you name it ... I have a hard time trusting people with her care, and I am having an even harder time finding a proper school that will fit with her needs, and my requirements.  I find it completely unacceptable that I may have to bend my requirements, or amend them slightly to make things fit properly.  She's my child, I refuse to require less.  In my honest opinion, asking for someone to care for my child as their own, treat her like a person, not a commodity, teach her things she'll need to know, socialize her with other kids, while keeping her safe and letting her BE a kid at the same time - isn't much too ask.  At least, I don't think so.

I had a place chosen, and the more I read, and heard, and learned about said place, the more concerned I grew.   There is no structure, at all.  It's a glorified daycare, for the same price I'm paying now, they have no curriculum.   They have no craft time, no structured learning time - just - play.  Which is fine - but - that's what we have now, except, she has about an hour of structured school time.  She knows her ABCs, her numbers, opposites, colors, shapes - ETC - and I'm looking for a place that will expand on that, not forget about it and move on.

After days and weeks of searching and such, I spoke with a teacher today, and will be speaking with their Director tomorrow - and I believe, we've found a match.  Provided the cost is the same, and we can pay weekly, as we are now - Emily may have a new School come September.

I'm not entirely sure how, but she's known this was coming, for months.  She has repeatedly said to us:

"When I get to my new school ..."
"At my New School ..."
"My New Teacher, at my New School ...."

Emily is excited, for something no one has mentioned.  It's almost as if it's *her* way of asking for a change.  Asking for something new and exciting.  Being way to smart for her own good, we need to find a place that offers --- more.   Not "good enough", not "just enough" .. but more.  

For the past few weeks, she's been getting into more and more trouble - nothing serious, thank GOD - no more hitting, pushing, name calling - just the typical screaming, fighting, not listening a four year old decides to do when he or she has had enough of -- whatever it is that's irritating them.  Typical kid stuff.  The kicker has been her running into the road at school.  Not acceptable, and she knows better.  Because of that particular antic, she's lost play dates (I seriously hate that term), desserts, extra things that she earns at the end of every "good" day at school.   Apparently, I'm a horrible mom, and she no longer has me in her heart (true story, for another post)

Hopefully, my little darling will have just what she is (and I am) looking for.  Begging for really.  Why else (other than being MY little darling, and a typical 4 yr old) would she be acting out in such a way?  She Must Be Bored.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Still Waiting

I have decided.  That's right, I've made a decision, and I'm going to put a plan in motion, and I'm going to do it ... as soon as I have time.  So - probably in the winter.

Currently, in addition to working 40+ hours a week in my office, and being the full time mom of a very busy, very bright 4 year old girl, as well as a full time wife --- I have added two large projects to my "Doing Now" list. Both, on the same day, in 24 days. I know.  I can't help it.

In addition to our normal Summer Activities (mainly, boating and floating) we are going to be taking day trips here and there, and hopefully taking a full vacation sometime as well.  We'll see.  Financially it doesn't make sense to take an entire week off, and spend that money on a hotel room with a view, and a four year old that gets cranky in the heat - but, alas, it's most likely what Mike will argue for.  And in reality, it's not that much to ask for - a week away .. I don't know why I fight it so hard.

My two new projects are the Relay for Life (now, I know, this isn't a "new" project - but I will explain) and my sisters baby shower.   That's right .. This Girl is going to be an Auntie Again .. Katie is due in July, with her first baby, a girl - Miss Abigail Rose (or Abbi for short).  Now, how is it that these two events are on the same day?  Allow me to explain.

The Relay for Life is an event I've been participating in for the past three years (well, this is my third consecutive year walking).  It is an event I hold dear to my heart, because of the number of people in my life that have been, or currently are, affected by Cancer.  In my opinion, it doesn't just affect those diagnosed - it touches and affects every single person that person loves and cares for.  Last year, I was acting Captain of our Team (the Tigerlilies, so named as to honor my late aunt, who passed away from pancreatic cancer, when Emily was only 4 months old.)  because our Captain, my sister, was on her honeymoon, in Jamaica.  I know.   This year, I am acting Captain again, (or more likely, CO-Captain) because she is now, 8 months pregnant.  The planning!!   SO that means, I am in charge of, well, everything - and I am beyond grateful to have a Team as wonderful as I do.  Our Team Members are amazing, and we have all vowed that this was the year we were going to be on the map. This is the year, we'll be the team to beat!  (because, you know, charity IS a competition.)  The Relay begins on Saturday June 25th, and Ends on Sunday, June 26th.  It is nearly 24 hours, of straight walking.   That's right.  Walking all night.  Last year, my dearest friend Corey and I took 1st and 2nd in the amount of laps walked.  I walked I think it was 138, and she walked 136.  This year?  We're going to smash that record.  it is going to happen.  See?  Charity = Competition.  Don't Judge, if you do, however, make sure I get the winning score - K?

Also being held on Sunday, June 26th - is my sister's baby shower - that I am in charge of planning, and hosting.  yep.  I will be walking all night - and playing Party Hostess at 12pm the following day.  I have a ton of things I'd love to do - games, trinkets, etc - but I'm not entirely sure where the money, and time, are going to come from - certainly, I cannot make time stop.  certainly, I cannot make a money-tree appear.  Certainly, I have a lot of shit to accomplish.  Certainly, I am the kind of person, who refuses to fail.  certainly. this is happening.  She *will* have a Baby Shower, and it *will* be lovely.   I just may be asleep on my feet :)

So the original reason for this particular post was -- alas I have not yet completed, or well, to be more fair *started* my Mom-Cave.  I know, I know, I need it. I NEED that space - and I fully intend on making great use of said space - when my calendar allows.  Which, as I said, at this rate, won't be until sometime when the snow starts to fly.  I'm hoping, beyond hope, that I can have it completed before October.  So that I am able to enjoy my room, while the snow flies around outside.  So I can utilize the two windows, and watch from my comfy chair, reading a book, sipping hot chocolate.   A girl can dream.

Here's an embarrassing admission .. this is what my "Mom-Cave" looks like:

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Trust me.  I'm appalled.  I do not know how it got this bad, but I do know that it will be rectified, the moment time allows.   *sigh* Some day.