Backseat Driver?

I like to think of myself as a pretty decent driver.   I'm safe, I don't fly down the road, I always use my seatbelt (and refuse to move the vehicle if others in my car do not use theirs) - I follow the laws (well, most of them .. I have been known to run a yellow light, and at times, I do roll through stop signs .. but only after I've looked both ways and feel it's safe enough to go!!) - that being said .. I do have a pretty ... colorful ... vocabulary.

I cannot stand it when people text and drive - forgive me if I offend - however - my daughter and I drive on the same roads, and it takes a split second for an accident.  I've had friends involved in accidents where the other drivers (or they themselves) were texting - or fishing around for their phones.

Now, I'm not an Oprah fan - in the least - I watch her show when Kenny Chesney, or any other musical guest peaks my interest, but other than that - I find her a touch annoying, and avoid her like the plague ... now that I've gotten that out of the way, Oprah and I do see eye to eye on at least one subject - No Phone Zone in the car.   I DO use my cell phone when I'm driving - I keep it minimal, and often will pull over to talk - just to be safe.  There is no way you can focus 100% on driving, if you're chatting, texting, reading, facebooking, whatever - at the same time - and that scares me.  I find myself saying "Be Careful!" whenever someone leaves my presence - now that's not to say I'm worried about the way that THEY drive - persay - it's more about the other people I don't know that may not be driving to keep my loved ones safe.

This is all a preface to the actual reason I'm blogging today ... I have a Back Seat Driver!   Not only does Mike often slam the "pedal" down from the passenger seat, or grab the handle, or brace himself for no particular reason (I swear, I am a decent driver!) - but Emily from the back seat will often spout off some phrases she's heard Daddy - or more likely - Mommy yell out when driving. 

For Example:

Heading to day care today, I was stuck behind a slow driver - now, normally, I'm all for going the speed limit (or well, roughly the speed limit - a few miles under is okay, and a few miles over isn't bad either) - however this person, was literally driving 22 MPH, in a 45 MPH zone .. as in the Highway.  The limit (for those that are not from around here) was lowered because they're doing serious construction in this stretch and it's safer to be on the sides of the highway when the cars are going 45 as opposed to the normal 55.

NOT ONLY was this person driving incredibly (and in my honest opinion unsafely) slow on the highway, she was texting.  That's right people - Texting - While Driving - On the Highway!! ... BAH!   Unacceptable!

The following is an excerpt from our conversation:

Mommy:  Oh.My.God.Seriously?!  Are you kidding?  This is real?  You have to go 22 right now?  Because you're the only one on the road, right!  And I suppose your text is more important than safety - Right? RIGHT!  Yeah, That's what I bet!  You stupid .. Stupid .... aaaaaaaaaahhhhh GET OUT OF MY WAY!!

Emily:  quietly, a little timid perhaps --- Mom.  

More grumbling from the front seat

Emily: a LOT louder and less timid MOM!

Mommy:  Yes dear?  I'm sorry I'm just so frustrated with the person in front of me - what did you need?

E:  (Cranes her neck to see the car in front of us)  I just wanted you to tell that bonehead in front of us to go back to school to learn how to drive again - cuz 'parentty - she forgots.

M: blank stare .. mouth agape .. Huh? Really you think so?

E:  Yep, and since she's not tha only car on the woad, I fink we should tell that police occifer right dere - points to State Trooper on the side of the road - and have hims stop her car.  THEN she'll get out of your way.

M: *sigh* . what have I done to you?

My little backseat driver ... already .. at the tender age of three .. nice one Mom, Nice One!