In the face of adversity - which comes in many shapes, sizes, and colors - I try to take the time to re-evaluate my life, and the things - people - places - etc - in it.
I am a very lucky, very blessed woman. And I know it. When you lose something (or, as I have this week, someone) it helps to open your eyes to your world, and the way you live in it.
For me, this adversity came in the form of depression. A depression that I felt was consuming me. It overwhelmed my entire well being. My state of mind was less than healthy, and I couldn't find the way out. I knew there was one, I had faith it was there, I had knowledge it was there - I just couldn't find it. I needed a life line, I needed a hand to grab. My life line came in the way of my dear friend Jessi. I know I've sung her praises before, and I can't sing them enough. Without her, (and have no fear, a few other particular friends) I don't know where I would be today. I owe my sanity, my being, my all - to you Jessi.
While my state of mind has been steadily increasing, in a good way, I've had more time to evaluate that which makes my days brighter - aside from my solid foundation of support.
I have a few guilty pleasures. I'm going to list them - briefly ...
I love to read ... anything, and everything - in fact, for my birthday this year (which hasn't passed yet) my parents bought me a Kindle. If you don't know what this is, you need to look it up - it's a device that allows you to purchase, download and read a book - the downloads? less than 60 seconds, an e-book actually - and if you love to read as I do (though, there is nothing like holding a book in your hands) you'll love this device, and it WILL continue to pay for itself over and over again. Books range from 69 cents to 19.99 ... and, which kills me really, more than 100,000 FREE E-Books ... decent E Books.
I have a few TV Shows that I watch online - my newest obsession. Online TV Viewing. Which, I do at work - because I don't have the internet at home (and by 'watch' I mean, listen to and have on in the background - really) ... The Real World - remains my biggest guilty pleasure. I have missed 2 seasons of this show, since it's inception - I know, it's an addiction, and I cannot seem to help it. Another that I watch is a show called "Being Erica" ... I've stumbled upon this show, it makes absolutely no sense - it's one of the densest shows I've ever seen - but I cannot, for the life of me, stop watching it. I've watched every episode since the pilot, and am fairly caught up on the premise. It's about a woman who has a therapist - he offers her a chance to write a list, a list of events in her life, that she would love to live over - to make different choices, in the event they could change her course in life. It's pretty dense, but again, I cannot stop watching.
Photography, perhaps the biggest of all of my guilty pleasures - I think you all know the depth of THAT
obsession guilty pleasure. It is the one thing I have, that brings me nothing but peace - and calmness, in the face of any and all adversity.
These guilty pleasures, are pretty obvious ones - if you know me at all, really - you are already aware of that. I suppose at this point, I should include the ones that are a little, more personal. I bet you'd all love that. So let me think here ... here we go.
- I LOVE to color. Not draw, not paint, Color. In a coloring book. With OR Without Emily.
- I LOVE to sing. I'm not entirely good at it, but it's one of those - stress relievers - that I can do, just about - anywhere. Though, there will have to be a very large amount, preferably immeasurable, of alcohol involved to get me back on stage.
- I like to write. Not poems, not (just) letters, but silly stories. I even tried to start a novel once - I did, however notice I was NOT creative enough to come up with my own ideas (at the time) I used a lot of what I'd recently read, and given the time that it takes me to read - multiple books, and not a lot of original stuff.
- I like to hike, though, I don't go nearly as much as I should ... aside from the photographer standpoint, I love outside. There is nothing like a good hike on a gorgeous day - and I don't mean just warm and clear - it could be crisp and cool, a fall day, a winter day .. a gorgeous day.
- Recently - I have started to love cooking - and baking really ... I'm not the best at it, but hey, you learn as you go right?
There are other things, but I think this list is long enough.
I thank you, Jessi, from the deepest part of my soul - for always knowing when I need that lift. Love ya girl.