Thursday, February 4, 2010

You're Not Coming To My Party --- Part 2

I know I've been writing about my minion a lot lately, I can't seem to help it ... she never ceases to amaze me, in new and different ways, every single day.  Nearly, each time I look at her even.

Yesterday was a really hard day (I'll get into that tomorrow, when I can further grasp what has happened, or continues to happen ... I'm not sure I can even put it into words at the moment.) and to get me through times like this, I often look at pictures of Emily, or watch videos I've taken, or even remember moments that have happened recently that have made me laugh, smile or just completely flabbergast me.

Some of my favorite moments, happen "accidentally" or completely unprovoked.  To keep my mind occupied I've, as I said, been paying attention to those moments.  

For the past 2 weeks, or more, Emily has been refusing - FULL ON REFUSING - to go to bed at her normal time, we have the same routine.  We get her in her jammies, play a game, brush her teeth, her hair, wash her hands and face, read 1-5 books, tuck her in and leave her in her room to "read herself to sleep".  She would much rather go to the top of the stairs and holler down "mooooommmmaaaa, whatchaaa doiiiin?"  or "you caannn't catch me" .. or her new favorite "I'm out of beeedd, DUH (I'm not saying duh to you momma, I'm not really.)"

It's hard to get angry with her, for the first hour or two, but after that, it's hard to NOT get angry.  Whenever I feel myself slipping to the angry place (as she calls it) I break the tension with a silly quip, or something.  Even if it only gets ME out of that place, it's worked.

Now, the routine (when she gets out of bed) is to go upstairs, not say a single word, take her by her little hand and place her back in her bed.  Cover her up, hand her Mahhhhvin, kiss her face, hug her and head out the door.  No matter how many times we have to do this, we've vowed to never spank her, or scream at her, for getting out of bed.  Unless she's being incredibly naughty, and then she'll receive a swat on her rear.

Last night was an incredibly hard night for Emily.  She hadn't seen daddy since first thing in the morning, and knew mommy was having a rough day.  Though I tried to shelter her from what was happening, she could tell I was frustrated, sad, and scared.  We made a quick stop at the grocery store, where she got yet another book, and we picked up a few 'must have' items.  Just in case we had to do some quick dinners for the rest of the week.

After fighting with her, (term of endearment, really), for well over 2 hours, I finally laid her down in our big bed, and snuggled with her as she calmed down.  After approximately 35 minutes of her cold little feet finding their way into my belly, followed by her bony little knees, I put her back in her own room and listened to her bawl her eyes out for an additional 45 minutes, until I got her to calm down enough, and we snuggled again, in our big bed.  She finally fell asleep around 11.  After being put to bed at 7:30pm, it literally took THAT long to get her to calm down enough to relax, and finally fall asleep.  I fell asleep for a few minutes shortly after, waking up when Mike finally got home.

She was so funny this morning though, you'd think she had a solid 12 hours of sleep - instead of being up at 5 after merely 6 hours of sleep .. absolutely bouncing off the walls, and sharing EVERYTHING daddy missed the night before.  She even read him some stories, while he was trying to catch a little more sleep.  She tucked him in and started reading him stories - and really --- it was just 3 different book versions of "The Little Mermaid" ... the little booger.

In times of crisis, undeniable depression, scary moments, moments of unknowing, moments of sheer panic - I have the worlds most adorable "reality check" ... I call her Monkey Face, she calls me Booger Brains.   That's love right there.

I promise, I WILL blog about what's happened this week, yesterday specifically, but again, I don't have all the details, and I still can't seem to wrap my mind around any of it.


Jessi said...

I'm so sad that you're going through something. Share when you're ready and you have time to process what's going on, I am the same way about things like that. I get it so I won't push... Until then you have friends/family who love you and an amazing little peanut :)

Amy said...

Thank you Jessi! It's been a really long week, and I've already started the blog.

Love You! <3