While some of the people I'm closest to are celebrating some of lifes greatest joys - I am experiencing the hardest time I've ever encountered.
It's hard to explain how I feel, and why, to those who have no idea how to take me at my best - how to take me at my worst ... to make them understand, maybe not fully, but at least a bit. Just a tiny bit.
Watching my parents go through all they're going through, and having to contemplate removing Emily from daycare, just to afford groceries is more than I can stand each day. Having a decision brought against me by unemployment, for having surgery and needing to recover (doctors orders) is more than I can deal with today.
I've applied to over 100 positions. Literally. In person, by email, fax, mail and by internet web site. I have had 2 interviews, neither of which have panned out. But I'm not giving up complete hope. I'm Not. I can't. I have too much riding on this.
SO during this time of despair, while I'm fighting depression and giving up (and fighting I am) ... I've gone back behind the camera lens .. at least a little.
Here are a few of my most recent captures:
Perhaps there is a little happy out there for me to find after all .....