2010 ... a year of ...

I couldn't sleep much Thursday night, to be clear - the 30th.  I slept from about 10 to about 12, and then, I was awake.  Tossing and turning, thinking, planning, plotting ... outlining this very blog.  True Story.

I had 120 different titles, 138 different subjects, a mass of different things I wanted to touch on.   Not one of them struck me as "perfect subject matter" on their own.  So I've decided to do a compendium of sorts, so to speak.

A list, in no particular order that shows me, and others, what 2010 was to me.  To finish this sentence:

2010, was, is, has been a year of:

Laughter:

I am blessed with a phenomenal family, and a phenomenal core group of friends who never fail to make me smile, and laugh, when I'm least expecting it.  Which is when I need it most.  This past year, I laughed a lot more than I expected to - especially towards the end of summer, when life handed me a pretty tough lesson.  It hurts when you discover a friend isn't truly the friend you thought they were, and I'm very lucky to have made it through that lesson with my laughter in tact.  I can't thank my friends and family enough for that, and I only hope that one day, I can repay that to them in full.

Reminders:

Not everything in life is guaranteed.   We lost our biggest contract, that we have held, and serviced to the best ability we had in the end of October.  We have managed to keep all of our employees on hand, with the exception of 3 who had left of the own accord for other opportunities.  It has reminded us all that no matter what is said, until it is in writing, and the deal is done, nothing is guaranteed.

Experience:

Being a mother, you learn something new everyday - as a human, you should anyway, but as a mom, you do.  Emily continues to teach my things, and I can't believe how blessed I am to have such a beautiful, happy, healthy, intelligent little girl.  Watching her experience new things each day, is like experiencing them myself, for the very first time - all over again.  This year we took her to Story Land, we took her to her first "concert" - Yo Gabba Gabba - we took her to the beach, we played mini golf, we went boating - every single day that we could - and we had an amazing time.   Each experience opened us up to opportunities of repeat "trips" this year, and for a few years to come.  Not to mention the already growing "must do list" of 2011.  Don't get me wrong, she's far from an angel, but - she's perfect to me.

Love:

Mike and I celebrated 2 rather significant anniversaries in 2010.  We celebrated the fact that we've been together, as an "us" for 10 years this past April.  We also celebrated our 5th Wedding Anniversary this past September.  Being together for as long as we have, hasn't been easy.  And I expect it to get a little harder as we get older.  Currently we're in the "let's have another baby" stage - or, rather, he is.  I'm not.  Yet.  If we wait until we are "financially ready" we wouldn't even have Emily.  I have some issues to work out, and some things to deal with - so to speak - before I even think about adding to our family, and hopefully - he's okay with that.  either way, I'm not ready to spare any of the love I have, and receive - selfish, I know.

Acceptance:
This one's hard.  I've accepted a few things in 2010, that I never thought I'd ever have to accept.  Which means, in a way, I've grown.  I have accepted myself.   That is a huge accomplishment for me, and I explain it a little further down.  I've accepted my friends - the real ones - for who they are, and what they are to me.  I've accepted some losses, tough to take, but accepted none the less.  I've accepted a new role in my life.  I'm Amy.  I've accepted that even though I'll never be 100% of anything, I can divide my time, energy and self up to be many things, to many people, and that includes myself.

Realization:

Things may not be as you want them to be, right now - I know they aren't for me - but it makes you stop and think, and take a quick look back on what you've been through, where you've been - and where you are going.  You are only as good as you believe yourself to be.  I've learned that this past year.  I'm really hard on myself, and I often put myself down (as much as I hate that phrase, it's true).  I've realized that, and I'm working on it.  I'm at least one pant size down, not to mention bra size (much to Mike's chagrin, I'm sure!), and I'm feeling great about myself.  It's been a while since I've been happy to actually admit that out loud.  Aside from my "living healthier" state of mind, I've cut quite a bit of dead weight out of my life.  That alone, makes me walk taller and stand straighter.  I know I'm a better person because of what I've left behind.  That's quite a realization.

Understanding:

In 2010 I found understanding.  More like - I learned how to be understanding.  As I stated earlier, I had learned a valuable lesson about friendship last year, and on top of that - I understood.  People grow, they change, they open their eyes and realize while 10 years ago you may have been the perfect fit - one day may come along when that changes.   That's okay.  In the long run, you're better off.  I understand that now.  Months after the hurt, anger, sadness and frustration ebb away - you're left with understanding.  I get it.  I'm okay.  I'm better actually.  I don't need the drama, the frustration, the irritation, the questions.  I don't need it.  I Understand, and I am Okay.

Happiness:

2010 had a lot of ups and downs.  I'm happy to report there were far more ups, than downs.  For me, and those I love.   My younger sister got married, and discovered she was going to be a mom this Summer.  My older sister saw all four of her children off to school, for the first time in 5 years - she has time to herself during the day.  My mom and dad have decided to take more time off.  Time they well deserve.  A very dear friend of mine became an I-ya again, this time - to a perfectly beautiful little girl.  My bestest friend in the entire world - all the way in Tennessee - and her husband had the pleasure of welcoming her husband's children into their lives - for the first time - in years.  While it hasn't all been rainbows and butterflies, it's a wonderful journey that I am proud to be a part of.  My hosebeast?  She realized, just as I did, that sometimes - just sometimes - you're better off without those you thought you couldn't live without.  She got to see her favorite band, and is planning another trip to see them this year.  Me?  Just knowing my friends and family are happy?  Makes me the happiest I've Ever Been.

All around, I'd say 2010 was a year of Growing.   

May the best of 2010 - be the worst of 2011 ... <3

Where to start ...

I have a million and one things on my mind that I'd love to share with the handful of faithful readers that I have invited to read my thoughts.  The problem is simple, sort of, you see - I don't know where to start.

I could start with the things I've learned, loved and lost in 2010.  I could start with Christmas, which I'm not entirely fond of - but celebrate none-the-less.  I could start with friendships that have grown like an out of control garden (in a good way).  I could start with my favorite songs, movies, TV shows or books of the year.  I could start with my vision of myself, and my self esteem.  I could start, anywhere.   The problem is, I don't know where to start.

I've read many books in 2010, I joined a book club in 2010, I started hiking in 2010 (okay, so I only went once, but I WILL be going more often in 2011), I started kickboxing in 2010, I started just being Amy, in 2010.  But, where to start.

I have no idea.  None.   So I'll just .. ponder a bit more, and probably leave you with a few random survey-esque type questions, until I figure it out.

You know, I could leave you with a list of goals I have for this year, or a list of things I wanted to accomplish last year, that have either been shuffled further down the list, replaced completely or accomplished.  I could leave you with a list of things that makes me smile, laugh, cry, remember, get angry (that would be a short list, I've learned anger is a waste of time).  I could, but .. I won't.  Not today at least.

I could write about a lot of things, and I probably will.  None of them seem like a good place to start.

"He's Not the Real Santa!"

This is a continuation of yesterdays performance.

After Emi's Christmas Party at daycare yesterday, and dance class had wrapped up for the year (we have next week off) we proceeded to pick daddy up and head to J&J's Family Restaurant, where we would get to see Santa one last time before the "big day" arrives.

In the car on the way over, the roads were a little slick, so Daddy was driving the Mom-Mobile - We were talking about how much money we'd spent - and making sure we were done with our list completely, before Christmas finally arrives.  He asked what I wrote a check for and I brushed it off, fully knowing that it was the remainder of his "big gift" an iPod, that a friend was selling.  I'll get into that in another post, promise.  So we're talking to Emily about how it was going to be busy, and that we need to make sure to remember our polite words, and be patient.  Santa only has a few minutes for each child, and it would be worth the wait.  She sighed, deeply, and agreed.

Upon our arrival, we saw just how busy it was - people were lined up and waiting for tables, and had been there for quite a bit of time.  It was also, Karaoke Night.  Yep, uber busy.   Santa was out and giving each child a small present!  How lucky was Em?  Free pizza, drink AND a present, plus more face time with the big guy to ensure his visit to her place?  Right on - right?  Wrong.   The minute she saw him, she freaked.  Screamed, cried and wanted nothing to do with him.

Awesome.

I passed her directly over Santa's head, and into my mom's waiting arms so she could calm down - and as we passed her over, Santa calmly, quietly and very politely handed her a wrapped gift - so she wouldn't be left out.  She sniffled and said thank you, very politely through her tears and cowered with "Erma" until she calmed herself down enough to come back to the table.

On the way home, after dinner and opening her present - which was a throwback to when I was a kid, those felt and paper coloring things? - as she was drifting off to sleep the following conversation took place:

E ~ Mommy, I'm sleepy.  my eyes are tired from being open so long.

M ~ So close them baby, it's okay we have one stop to make and then we're going home, and we're ALL going to bed.

E ~ :through a yawn: Momma, know why I didn't want to say hi to that Santa?

M ~ No, I don't.  I thought you were going to ask him about his reindeer?

E ~ Yeah, I was, but - that wasn't the real Santa, he was a faker.  I didn't want to talk to him, cuz I knew he was lying to all those other kids.

Flabbergasted, I didn't have a response for her ... shortly there after, she fell asleep.  We went to our "one stop" and did our little Santa Errand, and headed home.   She slept last night from just after 8 until almost 7:30 this morning, the longest she's slept in a long time.  

Merry Christmas my Friends, and a very Happy New Year.

Mom - I don't like that.

My dear child is too smart, way too smart.  And while that's a blessing in most cases, when trying to protect the innocence of Christmas and the magic of Santa ... it's a curse.

Santa is going to be at my parents restaurant tonight, so after Dance class, we told Em we were coming here .. she paused, looked at me and we had the following conversation:

E - "With his reindeer?"

M - "Um No, they're resting for their big trip Friday Night"

E - "So, how's he gonna get there then?  He needs his reindeer, or he can't come"

M - "Magic, Emi.  Can you put your shoe's on please?"

E - "He can't do magic without the reindeer mom.  How's he gonna get there?"

M - "Trust me, okay, he'll be there."

E - "what about the elves?  Will they be there?"

M - "No, I think they're up at the North Pole getting ready for Friday too" 

E - "Why does everything have to happen Friday?! I want the DEER MOM!  I WANT TO SEE THE DEER"

M - "Oh, Emi - Christmas Eve is Friday, that's when Santa brings toys and stuff to the good kids - remember?"

E - "Mom.  I don't like that."

Awesome.

Coupon Clipping ...

I never thought I'd be the kind of girl who sat around clipping coupons and watching sale flyers.  In my imagination, I struck it rich at 24, after graduating law school and nailing a spot at a very prestigious law firm where I wowed them into making me partner early.   I know.  Big Imagination.  In reality, I skipped college and have been working steady since the age of 12.  True Story.

Now, you'd think - with a person nearing 30, who has been working since they were 12 - there would be some sort of savings, or retirement plan, or something, to fall back on in times of turmoil and confusion.  Well, you'd be wrong.  Apparently, I have no sense of saving.  None.  Well, when it comes to money and what not.  When it comes to keeping a note a friend wrote me in the 7th grade, I'm sure I could dig one or twenty-eight out for you.    This is something I'm diligently working on, along with the size of my rear end and waist line that is.  See, I'd love to shrink the latter and expand the former.  

Since it's nearly Christmas (and by nearly I mean, days away) ~ I thought I'd put a little post up listing the places I go to save money, or get things for free.  It happens, it works, and I'm such a glutton.

First and foremost, if you're like me and you search the internet for a lot of different things, I have a search engine where you can earn points to earn free things, from pencil erasers and desktop wallpapers to amazon.com gift cards - no really.   It's True.   All you do is go to:  www.swagbucks.com, and follow the instructions .. download the search engine, and walla - free stuff.  Nearly every time you search, you'll earn "swagbucks" which you can save up and put towards rewards.  I happen to enjoy this little habit, and frequently search, just to search silliness and earn points for free things.

Second, you can always find free samples on certain stores websites - for example go to: http://instoresnow.walmart.com/In-Stores-Now-free-samples.aspx - and pick the freebies you want, I've done this a few times and am always happy when the products come.  You can also go to: http://samples.target.com/ and get freebies there too.   

Finally, to save money - though it's not great for the environment, because you have to print them - the only plus side there is you get to pick and choose which ones you want and can use - coupons.com, couponmom.com, couponcabin.com, coolsavings.com, or the one I use the most - www.smartsource.com.

I actively cut coupons every week, and have saved an average of 10 dollars per week on my groceries.  Which is two books to Emily :)

May you and yours have a very Merry Christmas and a Thrifty New Year!

I've been inspired.

It usually doesn't take a lot to get me going .. as in moving.  On the other hand it takes more than a ton to get me angry, or on the other side of the spectrum inspired.  Lately, it has taken more and more to peak my interest.  Between work stresses, home stresses and Holiday stresses - I have found little that makes me stop and think, and stop and act. 

Until Recently.

Recently, I started reading "older" posts from my blogger friends, and looking at pictures on other friends facebook pages, and it made me think.   We don't have a ton of money, especially now with Christmas upon us .. but I'd really love to be able to take Emily to a zoo, a museum, an aquarium, and a few other "childhood staples" that don't involve the state of New Hampshire.   I'd love to take her out of state, to see something extraordinary, for not a lot of money.

This past April, a good friend of mine took her daughter to the National Zoo in Washington DC - I've never been *to* Washington DC - I have been THROUGH it however ( a story for another post ) ... this is something I've always wanted to do, and I've always wanted to see.  For as long as I can remember, Washington DC was a destination for me.   Weird, I know.

Then I got to reading a friends blog about the places she and her husband have had the pleasure of visiting this past summer, and quite a few of those are on my "list" as well.  Inexpensive, local, and fantastic.

On top of that, my pen pal bestie and I have been talking back and forth about places we've visited - She, the lucky duck, got to visit the Titanic Museum in Branson Missouri this summer, and has the ability to get to the Nashville Zoo (correct me if I'm wrong on the name here) and has gone a couple times recently, while not cheap, I'm betting if it were closer, I could be persuaded to spend the money to get in - to both places - in full, while not fibbing about Emily's age (don't judge 27 dollar admission fee is outrageous for a three year old).

As a final "nail" so to speak, or straw if you will - there is a foundation, out of Massachusetts (my home state!) called The Highland Street Foundation - they offer free days admission (on certain dates, at certain times, for certain places) through out the summer called "Free Fun Friday's" .. we have yet to be able to take part in one of their fantastic offers at any of their fantastic venues, but now that I know about them, I'm being pro-active and the minute the list comes out, I'm marking my calendar and planning our trips accordingly!!!

These wonderful experiences that my friends have shared with me got me thinking about .. and researching ... places that are close(ish) and on the lower end of the admission scale.   Now that it's Winter(esque) anything outside, or further than 2 hours drive, is out of the question, until Spring when the roads clear up and the weather warms a bit.   So, here is a list of the things that I'm looking forward to in the coming months/year.

1) The Harvard Museum of Natural History

I cannot wait to get here.  Seriously.  Specifically to see the Glass Flowers
*edited to add ----*
YEAH there's a second museum - admission price pays for both!!
The Peabody Museum

2) The Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum

I am in the process of getting a book with regards to this museum, and have read an excerpt of it, I am hooked.  I love art as it is, and to be so close to a place where one of the biggest art heists in history went down, it's criminal not to go.
*I'm editing this post to add a little history, taken directly from the above linked site*

1990
	Mar 18th	On the night of March 18, 1990, a pair of thieves disguised as Boston police officers entered the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum and roamed the galleries, stealing thirteen works of art, including: Rembrandt's Storm on the Sea of Galilee (1633), A Lady and Gentleman in Black (1633) and aSelf-Portrait (1634); Vermeer's The Concert (1658-1660); Govaert Flinck'sLandscape with an Obelisk (1638); five drawings by the Impressionist artist Edgar Degas; and Edouard Manet's Chez Tortoni (1878-1880). The works have not yet been recovered. The $5 million dollar reward leading to the return of the art works is, as yet, unclaimed.

*and can be found here too*
http://www.gardnermuseum.org/information/theft.asp

3) The Boston Museum of Science

It's a given.  

4) The New England Aquarium

Again, a given.

5 & 6) The Franklin Park and Stone Zoos

A real zoo?   Only a short drive away?  I'm on it.  Twice.

As a matter of fact, since my Grandfather and my aunt, uncle, and a cousin and her family live in relative close proximity to the Stone Zoo - I may make it there during the winter months ... Seriously? ... I think it's on.

There are more .. and I WILL be updating this and checking things off as we go.

Thank you - ALL for your inspiration, truly.  I needed it.

Charlotte's Corn Ma(i)ze

It's a bit late ---- However ---- As promised - we went to the corn maze this year, we went a couple weeks later than we planned - however, we still made it!  It was an amazing time, cold, but amazing none-the-less.

Because I can't seem to focus long enough to form a comprehensive thought - I'll post some pictures, and you'll get the idea <3

TEXT?!?!  Come On!

A Long day .. She had a blast

See the mother effing half painted door?  yeah.  Impressive.

Emi's Pumpkins!