Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Oh Dear ...

In a rather short time frame, I will be the mother of a kindergartner.

OMG I can't say that out loud, so I whispered it when I typed it - and quickly moved passed the word.  *shudder*

In a week, Emily will turn 5.  In September, she will start "real school".  The thought of this transition, terrifies, and excites me.  At the same time.  And often?  Hits me like a ton of bricks, when I'm least expecting it.

I know she's smart, and bright, and social, and I know she's going to do great.  BUT I also know that she is me, in miniature, and Change?  Is not something we like.  At All.  It will be a great adjustment for her, and an even bigger adjustment for me.   She will no longer be 3 minutes away from my office.  She will be 20 minutes away.  She will no longer be corralled in a cute little at home daycare center, with less than 25 kids.  She will be in an elementary school with Over 450 kids, 100 in her "grade" alone.

The adjustment?  Will be hard.

We're starting to tell her about it now, in preparation .. she will be going to the school at some point soon, to be "tested", in order to be properly placed in class.  I'm terrified for her.  I'm afraid she'll be so scared, she'll forget what she's learned .. she'll make simple mistakes, and she'll be "labeled" ... I don't understand this - testing.  But, on the other hand, I do understand it.  And I don't like it, but then, I don't have to.  But I have to submit to it.  So I will.  And I will cringe, and possibly sweat, break out in hives and be completely paranoid until it's over - and she is "placed".

However, I have to tell you - I sort of feel like I'm being judged here.  As a parent.  Will I be judged for having her skip preschool?  If it were necessary, wouldn't it be mandatory?  She's already learned everything they're teaching there, and retained nearly all of it (I know, 100% Retention would be impossible) ... But in reality, it's not.  So I saw no reason to rip her from where she was comfortable, pay nearly twice what I'm paying for daycare (with school type activities included)

I just refuse to admit my child is growing up, apparently, and rejecting every milestone that comes along - including this one.


To begin dealing with this - I called the school district where she will be attending yesterday .. I figured, I may as well get as much out of the way as physically possible.    So I called.   I was originally directed to the town hall, from there SAU, then from there  they directed my directly to the school.

We now have a registration date, the registration package, and a very excited nearly-5 yr old.

Momma? Not so much.   Momma is beside herself.  Momma doesn't like change.  At All.  Not even pretending, not even a little.  Not even at all.  I Don't Do Change.


1 comment:

Jessi said...

:( and :)

Don't worry too much about the "placement." My hope for her (and you) is that she'll go exactly where she needs to be. She's a smart cookie. Maybe too smart ;)