Thursday, April 25, 2013

... EverySingleDay ...

So I've been radio silent for too long here.  (Since November 6, 2012 - as I was gently reminded a few weeks ago)

Lots of things have been happening here, some good, some great, some slit-my-wrist-in-a-bathtub ... Lots of things.

There is no secret that the last year ... or so ... has been a little more than survivable.  Barely more than survivable.

From watching family members lose things (businesses, homes, friends, marriages) to absolutely losing and nearly losing things myself, it was barely survivable.   However, thus far, we have.  We have all survived.  Thus Far.

Without reliving every gory, heartbreaking, and terrifying detail - I'll recount as much as I can because I haven't updated in a while.

In March of 2012, my parents had to close their company of 17 years.   In turn, I lost my job of 12 years.

Then on January 4th, I was laid off.  Due to the "Fiscal Cliff" the company I worked for no longer had construction work, thus claiming they no longer had need or work for me.  I was pissed.  relieved, because I was so unhappy there, but pissed .. the words they'd said, the things they promised, the work I'd done - echoed through my reeling mind.

Not only did they lay me off on a Friday Afternoon, at 230, but they walked me to my desk, stood there while I cleaned it out, and waited while I left.  They refused to allow me to finish my 1.5 hours of that shift, stating instead they'll pay me until 4, but I needed to go.  So I did.  I packed my meager belongings (I hadn't yet made that place home .. it didn't feel like home, and I'd learned from having to pack up an office of 12 years, the less stuff, the better --- those boxes remain packed up, in stacks, in our spare room) and left.   Seething.  Bubbling under the surface.   But relieved.

They weren't nice people.   They never took responsibility for anything they did, instead, saw fit to blame everyone else, whenever they could.  I should have seen the writing on the wall.  I should have listened to the others that were working there.  They all left, of their own accord, in September & October.  Instead, I stayed on.  Hoping they were wrong, hoping it would change, and start to feel like home.  Instead, I was blindsided.  They'd just had a Christmas party, thanked us all, and given us bonuses (some more than others) and handed out door prizes (A popcorn machine, a WII and a 42 inch flat screen TV -- the 3 employees who were there the longest ended up "being the lucky ticket holders" - the rest of us were given gift certificates to a Frozen Yogurt place.  It was kind, it was nice, it was rigged) .. they just said they had the best year on record, and were continuing to grow.  We were in it together, for the long haul.

Except they were no longer growing, and we certainly weren't in it together.

Back on unemployment, Emily home with me in the afternoon .. she hated it.  I hated it.  Not spending time with each other, we did some fun things, had some times with some great friends, but never the less - we hated this "in between" time.  This "will we make it" time.  Times were tough as it was, still trying to recover from the nearly 8 dollar an hour cut in pay, plus the months of unemployment - and here we were, just when things were starting to look up, there goes that damn rug again.

I sulked.  I whined.  I bitched.  I moaned.  But mostly, I watched HuluPlus and Netflix.   I searched for jobs, sent out resumes, took phone call interviews, I even went so far as to apply with a temp agency.  (who is still calling me 2 months later, trying to "place" me ... when I've told them in no uncertain terms, I am employed, please use your resources for those that need the help).  Every.Single.Day.

Now?  I am gainfully, happily, healthily Employed.

That's right.  I am loving my job.   seriously, Loving.

I am now employed by the University of New Hampshire.  Not bad for a kid people said would never amount to anything.  Not bad for a girl who never went to college on her own.   Not bad for someone who thought she was going to drown in all the sorrow of the past year.   Who still has to find the courage and strength to swim against that current more often than she cares to admit.  Not Bad At All.

 photo 100_2669_zpsf219699d.jpg
 photo 310778_10152808877905574_1347920459_n_zps3fbe4bc7.jpg
 photo 525207_10152753514275574_95383690_n_zps0dcc4231.jpg
 photo 541844_10152792853115574_1573467598_n_zps099f702b.jpg

I even have a title.  No, really.  Ready?

Amy Mayo
Business Service Assistant II for the Business Service Center for the College of Liberal Arts at the University of New Hampshire (BSA II, for the COLA BSC at UNH for short) ... I am also the Telecommunications Account Manager for the Business Service Center for the College of Liberal Arts at the University of New Hampshire (or TAM, for the COLA BSC at UNH for short) I have an alphabet!  Well, okay, not the entire alphabet, but damn I'm getting close!

I wake up each day, and I'm not dreading the drive in.  I'm not dreading the co-workers. I'm not dreading the work.  I wake up each day, and while I don't exactly vault out of bed, I don't lollygag as much as I used to.

AND?   I get to see things like this:

 photo 100_2681_zps359cabb2.jpg
 photo 100_2655_zpse85c8493.jpg
 photo 100_2664_zps8e092eed.jpg
 photo 100_2657_zps46df292f.jpg
 photo 100_2650_zpsacd1dca3.jpg
 photo 100_2672_zpsc5d93599.jpg
 photo 100_2689_zpsd632449d.jpg

Every Single Day.

I am happy.
I am healthy.
I am different.

and also?

 photo 521851_10152761223095574_207459143_n_zpse8165bda.jpg

No comments: