Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Cinco De Mayo ... Truthfully

A friend of mine recently recommended I write up a blog post using Cinco De Mayo as a way to bring traffic to my blog, attention to my writing and just an over all fun way to incorporate my married name into social media trending.

I'm not usually one to worry about page views, or blog traffic - I've had this blog for years and I'm fairly certain I have maybe 3 faithful readers.  And usually, I'm fine with that.  However, this time, this time I think my friend, Lisa, was on to something. 

When Lisa approached me (at the ungodly hour of 4:15am) through facebook, she thought I might want to take this leap; honestly, it scared the shit out of me.  Then, the more I thought about it - the more I though, why the fuck not.   She recommended I do a post like one of her old posts,  but "obviously something more creative. (Which I know you can do)" (she gives me way too much credit here.) 

So without further ado - my leap into what I'm calling "LOOK AT ME!!!  I'M WRITING! writing"

Cinco De Mayo ... play on words, fun - creative - witty - humorous .. all things I like to believe I am, all things I'm falling short on here.  That's funny, because I'm short.  Like really short.  Like any shorter and I'd be considered a midget, legally.  So, short.

Alright, enough stalling.

CINCO DE MAYO:  The Amy Version - five things I bet you didn't know about me, that I'll deny vehemently should I ever be confronted about these five things (or any other things) in public.

  1. I don't really like drinking.  Right - you're shocked; I just beat the fuck out of your reality and blew up your mind.  I know.  It's okay.  You can sit down again, I promise, the rest of these cinco truths will be nothing as earth-shattering as this one.  So now that I've done that - right out of the gate, mind you - let's explore it a smidge.  I'm Irish & Italian, primarily - I'm supposed to enjoy drinking.  It's in my blood!  my bones!!  my genetic make up!  Except ... I don't.  I enjoy a glass (or bottle(s) ahem) of wine; should the occassion call; but I'd much rather curl up with an iced coffee or a hot mug of tea and a great book.
  2. Prior to last year (or so) I didn't like tea.  Okay, I lied.  Two Earth-Shattering confessions, right out tha gate!  Your understanding of my psyche is crumbling, isn't it?  It's okay, you can take another minute if you want.  I'll wait here ------- back?  Alright, let's delve.  I'm not talking about Lipton Iced Tea, or Arizona Iced Tea, or Twisted Tea, even.  I'm talking about hot water, a bag full of sticks, leaves and other assorted flavorings.  I mean think about that, let it steep for a minute.  (see what I did there?  I am pretty clever.  Though I had to point it out, so maybe I'm just a glutton for "LOOK AT ME AREN'T I FUNNY!!!)  Lately, with certain blends, I've become addicted to drinking a nice mug of tea and reading a book or two.  I don't sweeten it, or add cream or milk, or anything else.  Just water and a bag (or diffuser) full of twigs, leaves and other assorted flavorings that come within the blend.
  3.  I Love Birds, but I will *never* have a pet bird.  Ever.  Recently, our neighbors took a vacation.  A vacation that I am insanely jealous of, that I will most likely never be able to duplicate but one that I will (playfully) hold against them for as long as we are friends/neighbors.  (Freighbors, as my lovely friend Foxy says) Whilst they were away, Emily and I took care of their birds.  They have two.  They're loud, messy and incredibly ungrateful.   At least dogs & cats pretend to be amused and thankful whenever you're around.  Birds are just - douches.   
  4. I'm addicted to bingewatching shows.  No joke.  I have consumed entire seasons and series of shows on Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime.  But I don't watch things people tell me I should watch.  (this goes back to that whole "don't tell me what to do" aversion I suffer from).  I refuse to watch: American Horror Story, Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead, Orange is the New Black, Doctor Who ... and a variety of other shows that I don't care enough about to list out.  I have, however, devoured Mad Men, Covert Affairs, Suits, Devious Maids, Ugly Betty, Parenthood, and a slew of other ones I didn't care enough about to remember, or recommend.  Then I get pissed when I reach the last available episode, like hostile and violent.  Pissed.

  5. And finally - I have not done one single bit of required reading for any of my courses.  With the exception of Children's Literature and even then, it was limited reading.  I don't need to actually read the chapters.  It's weird and stupid and I'm still getting a 4.0, maintaining my place on the Dean's List and mostly enjoying college; non-traditionally, of course.  While my courses have been mediocre and uninteresting - I still enjoy being a college student, and look forward to earning my degree and moving on with my learning.   Even though, every chance she gets, Emily reminds me that I "only WORK a college MOM" I'm "not actually a student there!"  I will be, someday, a student here; instead of one of the smaller sister schools within our University System.

So, that's me.  In a Cinco De Mayo get to know list ...  I hope it was close to what you had in mind, Lisa -- thanks again for the prompt!


Michelle Matthews said...

This posts reminds me of why I call you friend. We are so alike, it's scary. LOL

Shalagh Hogan said...

Ah Amy, you are the lion to my scarecrow. Practice just makes for better writing not perfection. And I promise to read it . I hate tea. And I'm lucky if my beverage is lukewarm when I drink it.
Love to you,

Lisa Newlin said...

This is totally what I had in mind! Love it! Do you know what's funny? FOUR of those things are me too! I do drink occassionally but it's not as big of a deal in my life as I often auggest it might be.

And tea with no sweetener? Stop it! Every. Effing. Day.

I'm so proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone and opening yourself up. Readers want to know who you are and it makes us want to read more when we see a glimpse of your life and admissions. Loved talking!

And thanks for the shout out. Sorry I emailed you at 4:15 a.m! I have horrible insomnia and my mind just turns and turns and I just had to tell you this idea! So glad you ran with it.


Foxy Wine Pocket said...

Number 4 FOR THE WIN! (I typed "wine" instead of "win" at first. So, yeah, not so much number 1 for me.) ;-)

Amy said...

I fucking love you all so much ... <3 you're the best.

Jessi said...


PS. I'm one of the three. I know it.


Linda Roy said...

I love Cinco de Mayo. I can't tell you how many Cinco de Mayo T shirts I own. Well...actually, I can. 5.