... Smile ..

It honestly hurts my heart, when someone I care for is hurting ... especially in such a way, that I cannot fix it.  It is not my place to say why, or who, this is referring to - but I know she'll get it.  And if it fits you too - then I did my job twice, or more.

Please know, whenever you need me - I am here.  I love you!  My life would not be the same without you in it.

Smile though your heart is aching 

Smile even though it's breaking 

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by 

If you smile through your fear and sorrow 

Smile and maybe tomorrow 

You'll see the sun come shining through for you 

Light up your face with gladness 

Hide every trace of sadness 

Although a tear may be ever so near 

That's the time you must keep on trying 

Smile, what's the use of crying? 

You'll find that life is still worthwhile 

If you just smile 

That's the time you must keep on trying 

Smile, what's the use of crying? 

You'll find that life is still worthwhile 

If you just smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKYGtv36zx8&feature=related

Spectacular Side Dishes.

I've been cooking more and more lately.  From main dishes, to side dishes - and I've come across a side dish that is easy, tasty, and somewhat good for you.  Somewhat, because they're made with real butter and sea salt.

Which, really, isn't good for you.    Okay, on with the food!

Start with a pound of fresh green beans:

Snap the ends off, and rinse them well.   Make sure to drain them well, otherwise it will water down the butter and garlic.

Add butter, garlic and any other seasonings you may want, to taste:

(I use Kate's 100% Pure Sea Salted Butter and minced garlic - fresh when I have it, but jarred when I don't)

Here's a trick I learned - AFTER this batch:

Put the garlic in last, then it won't burn and will season the butter AND green beans.

Here's is your finished product!

The perfect side dish for any meal, I mean any.  This time?  I used them as a side dish to baked pork chops.  Which I don't really care for, but I'm really proud of the way they came out.

  

I have a variation of the bird flu ...

There are a few things in life, that I can't live without (feel free to browse my previous blogs for a list of those things - this is not a list, but an expansion)

Obviously, my family and friends, boating, photography - but above even boating?  My obsession with birds.  Birds of all kinds, but mostly - the big guys.   Seriously, in my opinion there is nothing more beautiful than a large bird in flight - or just chilling in nature, as they're meant to be.

It is my mission to photograph, hopefully, but at least witness some of the more majestic birds whenever, and where ever I can - whether they be seagulls, (I know), Hummingbirds, Eagles, Hawks, Falcons, Loons, Ducks (of all varying species) - it doesn't matter.  If I see a bird in flight, or doing something I think is nifty, I'll stop.

Here are a few of my favorite "bird shots" ... I hope you enjoy looking at them, as much as I enjoyed experiencing and photographing them!!

This first set is from York's Wild Animal Kingdom (For those of you in my area, I know, it's a horrid place, but Emily enjoyed it, and there isn't anything as close .. if you know of a decent zoo near us, please let me know - we are completely open for suggestions.)

This next set is from camp in Houlton, ME - where we went on vacation last summer:

These others are from either Ossipee or Sunrise Lakes.

Ossipee Lake:  (last Summer)

Sunrise Lake:

Behind Cardinal's Plaza (no, really!)

Sitting on a building downtown:

Nature - and - Beauty at it's finest ... Truly.

:) Happiness for me?  Watching birds, taking pictures and enjoying family time.

It's No Secret ...

I'd like to believe I'm a pretty open book - I mean, don't get me wrong, I have areas that are private - but for the most part, I'm pretty open.

As far as things go, I call them as I see them - I sometimes, more often than not, don't have a filter.  Sometimes, I just - sort of blurt.  When it comes to my child, and what I want - or think is best for her, it's not a secret.  There is no question, what I think is best for her, what I want her to do, or what I think of parenting techniques - that either I use, or others around me use.  I'm a wealth of opinion, and generally, it's a very educated opinion.  When you become a mother, your brain automatically changes.  You no longer think of the best thing for you - first, you become second - or lower - on your list of life importances - you think of what's best for your child, your charge.   Well, in my opinion, that's what you do.

Far be it for me, a parent for a mere three years and 27 days, to give parenting advice to any of those parents who have been "doing it" longer, for more children, or "better" than I.  

The reason for this - almost rant infused - blog, is because I got a phone call today.  From my child's daycare teacher.  Now, keep in mind - she is MY child, and has been ever since she resided in my belly, for 2 weeks too long.

Let me digress a moment, a little background for you.

Emily has been attending this daycare for nearly two years now.  She spent the better part of her first 2 years here in my office with me (so recommend this if you have the option) where I spent my time working, and working with her.  Teaching her words, to walk, to talk, etc.  I didn't miss a single "first" ... and that was exciting to me.  This daycare has been wonderful.  Beyond wonderful, for the both of us.  It is 3 minutes up the road from my office - a small, in home, center - that focuses on the kids.   THAT is important to me.   That was one of the selling points, actually - even bigger than the distance from my desk to her front door - was that they do everything they can - to make sure the kids are learning, playing, having fun, developing, are happy, healthy and safe.

She is very bright, quick witted, intelligent, polite (most of the time), sociable, friendly - a very happy, healthy, well rounded toddler.  She knows her ABC's, she can count to 20, put her shoes on, take them off, she's been potty trained since barely 18 months - she helps with laundry, dishes, taking care of the dogs and cat, and a lot more - all around - she's a very smart girl.  (not to brag).  At 3, barely 3 at that, I wasn't thinking of enrolling her in pre-school this coming fall.  I don't think she needs it, I think she's better off waiting another year - do I think she will benefit from pre-school - yes, when the time is right.  Do I think that time is now?  or this coming fall? No, I really don't.  Mike and I have discussed it, and we were in agreement - it would hinder her development, to take her out of where she is - even part of a few days a week - to learn things she already knows.   Or re-learn them as the case may be.

There is a 'pre-school' run out of one of the local high schools here.  It isn't on my list of "possibilities" for Emily to attend, because for one - I don't like the director.  I don't care for their "teaching" methods, if you even want to call them that - personally, I wouldn't, but I was being polite.

I've told Emi's current daycare provider this, in no uncertain terms - many times.  It remains no secret that I do not care for that "school" and wouldn't be sending Emily, nor would I be sending any future children I may have (don't read into that, it was a moment of pure anger) to that place.  I am not interested, Thank You Very Much.

APPARENTLY - I wasn't clear, or the daycare teacher thinks I wasn't clear.

I received a phone call today, that really floored me.

This past September (both before and after these discussions about this place) the director of Emily's daycare put MY CHILD on the list of interested students for a place in the classroom at this 'pre-school' (run by high school students I don't know and a Director I don't care for) - and wanted to let me know she'd done so.   --- Pause --- you did WHAT NOW?

She wanted to be sure she'd told me, and that it was a really hard place to get into, so she wanted to be pro-active that Emily was going to be able to attend "class" there, especially with one of the other little girls that goes to her current daycare.

I swear to you, my dear faithful readers, my vision went red.  Now, it's not appropriate to go off on this woman, as she still currently cares for my child's well being while I'm at work - so I took a deep breath, let her tell me how wonderful this "school" is and how great it'd be for Emi and her friend to go together, and how after a mere 6 months - they've already been bumped from 13th & 14th on the list to 1st & 2nd.  They haven't "gotten in yet" (as if it really is some posh, top of the line, over the moon expensive - private - hard to get into places and not a glorified daycare center, in a high school, run by a hack director and students who would really rather be anywhere else other than teaching my kid - again, this is strictly my opinion of the place, and I apologize if anyone else has other opinions of it.  I've done my research where MY child is concerned - it may be a place for someone else's but, not mine.) but the list moving as fast as it has, ensures a spot for Emily.

Then, when she was finished, I said "I'll speak to Mike this weekend, and get back to you Monday."  In reality, I've already spoken to her about this - many times.  So this afternoon, in about an hour or so, I'll be speaking to her again, and I'll be removing her name from the list.  I'm not interested in a place, means, no thanks - put another kids name on the list.

I know she thinks she's helping me - but really, she's just broken a small piece of trust away from me.  If she's signing Emily up for this behind my back - and supposedly waiting 6 months (and many conversations) to tell me, what else is she up to?  In 2 years, if I haven't made myself clear - I don't think I ever will.

I mean, really, my interest is what's best for Emily.   Look at her:

Shouldn't it be?   Shouldn't I be able to tell an adult in her life something, and have it be respected - and honored?  Not just because I'm her mom - but seriously, because I'm her mom!   AND I pay your paycheck every week.  

Am I wrong here?

Please Read and Sign this petition ... if you want to :)

My last blog touched on friends that had a devastating weekend - Since they weren't my stories to share, I wasn't going to ... until now, and I'll only share one.  I'm sharing this one, not to spread the sadness and add to her grief, but because I too agree with what she is doing - to turn her pain into action.

I got a text message Sunday morning, a notification that my Facebook had an update.   I only have a few friends on FB that I follow with my phone (it drains my battery something wicked.) - Jo is one of those friends.  I read that she was concerned about her dog, Allie.  Saturday morning she had ingested some mole poison they had put in the backyard - and buried.  Thinking the heavy wood would be deterrent enough to keep Nosey Allie out of the hole - they went about their business. 

After hours, agonizing hours, of Allie being at the Emergency Vet for care, she passed away at 10:04pm, Sunday night. 

Knowing Jo as I do, this loss isn't just another 'pet' ... Jo cares for her animals, like no one I know.  These dogs are her children, and to have one lost - at 14 months old, for what turns out to be a veterinary mistake - is more than heartbreaking.

Jo has turned her pain and anguish into anger, and started an online petition to stop the use of strychnine (the poison that killed Allie) in products used around people and animals.  Unknown to me, and I'm sure many other people, there is no treatment or cure for strychnine poisoning.  At All.   For people or pets.   That scares me.   I have 2 small dogs, a small cat, and a small child (of course, they are no more important than the other, I love them all the same - I know, what mom can say that?!  A Mom like me.  To love one more than the other?  It's not in me)

Please, if you love your pets, or children, or both - as much as I, and Jo do - please read the attached petition and sign it, and if you are so inclined, please pass it on.  Together, we can send a message - and save lives.

RIP Allie Marie, your missed every second Sweet Girl.

Online Petition

It's been a hot minute!

So it's been a while since I last blogged, and for that - I apologize.   This weekend was filled with ups and downs, and heartaches, that while they are not my own (and therefor I cannot share what they were, or are) I felt them as if they were.

Saturday was the best day of the weekend for me.   Since we had a very busy day planned for Mother's Day (including visiting both our moms, and both of his grandmothers - as well as other errands we had to run) Mike decided to do whatever I wanted on Saturday.  What I REALLY wanted, was to spend the day on the boat - but since it was raining - we couldn't do that.  Instead, my dear husband indulged me in one of my long time hobbies.  Stalking Local Celebrities. 

Now, before you get all .. vigilante .. I know they deserve their privacy, my argument is - then they shouldn't be on TV and advertise where they're shops are located.   Okay, I know - not a great argument, but one that I will continue to make.

We started out driving around a little, to get my bearings - see, we got rid of my beloved Trailblazer (in an effort to save a LOT of money a month, and because it just sat there - what a waste!) and Mike refuses to drive the mini-van unless he completely has to - I don't know my way around, really - I can't find a lot of things, unless I go there often.  I know, don't judge.

Ending up in Maine, which was our destination anyway, along the way - as small children often do - Emily needed to go potty.  We stopped at a little place along a very long stretch of road (I can't even tell you what road, or town it was!!) it was the first driveway I saw with a sign ...   "Mrs. C's Bakery" (had I thought of it, I would have taken a picture of the sign) after pulling down the driveway, and getting out of the car, we entered only to be greeted with a very large sign that said "Sorry, No Public Restrooms" ... much to my dismay ...

Since we were there, and Mike (in all his diabetic glory) decided he wanted some home made sweets.  Lord Help me!   We got to talking to the owner, a very nice woman named Suzanne, she allowed Emily and I into the back (her basement - of her home) to use a small toilet - as long as we didn't let her new kitten "Patches" out - and didn't tell anyone, it's "our secret" she had whispered to Emily.  Of course, to a 3 year old, this is fantastic!  A Secret?  A place no one else is allowed?  Show Me The Way!    After spending an unnamed amount of money on homemade donuts, maple squares, caramel candies, lollipops, fresh baked bread (which somehow, the dogs ended up getting {Super Cringe} not by our hands mind you) and some fresh baked peanut butter cookies, we thanked our fantastic host and drove away.

(emily and her huge home made chocolate donut - sugar covered, of course)

On to my destination! 

A little back story, if you will ... On the Discovery Channel (one of my favorites) there is a "newer" show, about two brothers, and their research and development company - they do work for the military, and pretty much, that's it.   They are the Howe Brothers.  Mike and Jeff Howe.   (if you've never heard of it - check it out, it's really very interesting - and a LOT of fun) http://www.howeandhowetechnologies.com 

A few months ago, Mike had shown me their shop in Eliot Maine.

(here)

(and here)

Since then, they've out grown that area, and have either purchased, or leased a larger space - a little way away.  Okay quite a large way away.   It's easy for Mike to find these locations, because - they are Eastern Customers :) ha!  A little sneaky, I know - but so worth it for me!

The Howe Brothers, and their crew, have done very well for themselves and are now occupying this space:

(here)

and their sign got a little bigger too

(Hehehehe)

From there, which totally made my day, we traveled throughout that portion of Maine, stopping on the roadside in Cornish to take some spectacular pictures:

After seeing that, we headed south, towards home - ending up in Wolfeboro, at the "Wolfe's Tavern" at the Wolfeboro Inn (OMG you have to go there, if you haven't try it)

(totally stole this from their website, but seriously, go there)

And ended up in Conway/Ossipee NH on Route 16 - where we stopped at Yankee Furniture, to spend money we didn't have - well, really, window shop - for things we'd really like to own.  Some day.

Along that road, Route 16, we saw this old house, that I always say I want to photograph ... I don't know why - but the house speaks to me, every time.

I'd love to get the owner (or banks) permission to take some better pictures, inside - outside - doesn't matter .. these were taken on the fly, sort of - because it said "No Trespassing" in the window.   I may bite the bullet and call the realtors office, and explain that I'd like to add photos of it to my portfolio, without revealing the location (unless they give me permission) ... and see what happens, I'm just not that gutsy yet.  :) I'll get there.

After such a long - and really glorious - day we decided to swing into the nearest grocery store, buy things to make some fantastic grilled cheese sandwiches, on earlier purchased home made bread, and rent some movies from the Red Box inside.  

Arriving home, we decided it was far to late to make an actual meal (we'd eaten "lunch" at nearly 4) we popped some popcorn and hunkered in for some movie time.   We watched the "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" (pretty funny, at times) an hour long disc of "Johnny Test" (Emily chose that one!!) and I fell asleep 40 minutes (if that) into "Inglorious Basterds" (we'd put Emily to bed before that one) all in all, it was the PERFECT Mother's Day gift.  Spending the day, dilly-dallying throughout two states, with my two loves.

A Belated, but still very sincere, Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers!!   (yes, Fur Babies count!!)

A heartfelt thank you.

Friday was my Birthday.  I turned 29, an age I will now stay at - forever.   See, let me explain - it's not that I don't LOOOOOOVE Celebrating Birthdays, because, let's face it - everybody does!  It's a silly thing really, a small thing, and my husband is going to kill me for throwing him "under the bus" so to speak - but here it goes anyway.

My husbands birthday is October 21st.  October 21st of 2006, our friends - Ryan & Hilary Jackson - welcomed their second daughter into the world.  From that point on - Mike was adamant - he no longer had a birthday to celebrate.   

"When a baby is born on the same day you were, that baby then takes over celebrating."

What?!   That makes no sense - well, okay it sort of does, but not ready to admit it out loud, I asked him to explain what exactly he was talking about.   This is roughly what he said:

"For 29 years, I have celebrated my birthday, on this day.   Now, it's Haylie's turn.  She gets to take over, where I "left off" ... so to speak.  See?  That way, no one is 'required', if you will, to celebrate my birthday, but they are then required (if they know her of course) to celebrate Haylie's!  It's a win win!"

Baffled, I could not stop staring at him - did he really believe this?  I mean, really?  He did.  Without faltering, he really did believe this ... silly nonsense (as it appeared to be to me) ... now, when life dealt me the same deal it gave him - I don't think it's that silly anymore.

Two of my very dear friends had a baby girl, Elise, on Friday - my birthday - well, my former birthday.  I have decided to adopt Mike's theory, and remain 29 forever :) ha!  Well, some what.    On top of that very gorgeous gift (she's not mine, so I can't post a picture here - but trust me, She's Gorgeous) - I arrived home Friday from work to gifts in my mailbox.

See, Jo (one of the best friends I've ever had) and I write letters to each other, and enclose little trinkets we think the other would enjoy - often times she spoils Emily, LOL.  Just another reason I love her.   Friday, I had such a package waiting for me.  I can't ever thank her enough for being my sounding board when I need her, and for helping me when she doesn't even realize she's doing it.  Love you girl! <3

ALSO in my mailbox, was a card from a dear friend of mine, Ellen, who lives in Mississippi (I so hope the flooding isn't as bad for you as it is in parts of Tennessee {where Jo lives, stay dry ladies!!}) - a card that made me realize, that even though I know I'm blessed - it made me realize I didn't know quite HOW blessed I am.  I've never thought of myself as anyone special, that touched anyones lives in important ways.  Ellen showed me I was wrong.   Thank you Ellen, I love you!

Rounding out my mailbox full of goodies was a package addressed to me, from my most staunch supporter.  My fabulous, amazing, wonderful friend Jessi made me a gift.  Yep.   She made it - for me.  I don't think there are accurate words to describe how wonderful it made me feel to open the envelope (after reading her notes and messages) and find the hand made gift.   <3 Friends For Always, IN All Ways. <3

The gifts didn't end there.  I had the pleasure of dining with my Hosebeast - Andrea, and her fantastic MIL, Kathy, and D-Man.  (alex's son - Andrea's nephew, Kathy's grandson) .. though we were late, they stayed and enjoyed some fine music and cuisine with us, a gift unto itself really.  I believe I regaled you all with the tales of Andrea and my adventures with the cow punch?  if not, I will, at some point - however, today, I shall regale you with tales of my NEW punchers.  Oh yes, she did.  I am now the proud owner of 2 new paper punchers - a heart, and a star, and they shall never be far from reach.   Where ever I go, I shall have them with me.  I Love you Hosebeast, now and forever.

I thank you all, from the very bottom of my soul - for making me realize I DO make a difference, to someone(s) out there.  Though I did cry, upon opening each gift, they were happy tears - thankful tears - love filled tears.

Thank you.

 I never truly allowed myself to believe